Widows of War Speak Out for Benefits

From Washington Post:

By Avis Thomas-Lester

Edith Smith, in a neat yellow suit and the yellow pleated cap of Gold Star Wives of America Inc., glanced one more time at her speech, took a slight breath, then spoke into the microphone to members of the Senate Committee on Veterans' Affairs.

"The Gold Star Wives of America appreciates the opportunity to participate in this hearing," Smith said as a dozen other members of the military widows group, most wearing their trademark yellow, nodded in support.

Just three days earlier, the Pentagon agreed to double the benefits given to families of fallen troops. The group has lobbied for an increase. Now Smith, 64, of Springfield, whose husband died a decade ago, urged senators to improve benefits for those who return from war disabled and to streamline the benefits process for all families.

The women who appeared at the hearing Thursday shared stories of the confusion they faced trying to find out what benefits they were due after their husbands died. Gold Star Wives, named for the symbol families once placed in their windows when they lost a loved one in combat, brings the experiences of thousands of women to argue for changes. The group, which also accepts men, also helps its newest members adjust to their changed lives.

"They have helped me to understand a lot of things about navigating through the system to get benefits and about the different legislation that affects survivors," said Deborah May, 40, a widow of the Iraq war and new member who drove from Jacksonville, N.C., with her three young children to attend the hearing. "It takes a lot just to figure out what to do and where you should call or what you need to fill out. They've been involved in the legislative process, so they know how to get things done."

As the Senate committee discussed the complexities of the benefits process, May's 20-month-old son, Will, born a month after his father was killed, cruised around the red carpet munching potato chips and sipping juice.

The group -- which includes widows from World War II to the Iraq war -- has been going to Capitol Hill since 1945, when 23-year-old Marie Jordan, whose husband, Edward, had died in Germany, called several women whose names appeared in newspaper obituaries for fallen soldiers and invited them over for coffee.

"The women just wanted to talk," said Marie Jordan Speer, 83, the founder. "They wanted the companionship of others who knew what they were going through."

A week after the group started, President Franklin D. Roosevelt died, and they invited his widow to join them for their second meeting. Eleanor Roosevelt signed the group's original charter, Speer said.

When the group started, military benefits to young wives included a $50 survivor's pension and a $10,000 insurance policy, which were usually paid in monthly installments. Speer received $77.55 per month for herself and her infant son. She traveled to Washington a few months later to ask for more money.

"We told them how pitiful it was and asked them if they couldn't do better," Speer said.

The Gold Star Wives have more than 10,000 members in more than 60 chapters across the country whose spouses died while on active duty or from disabilities suffered as a result of service.

The group has amassed an impressive list of legislative victories. It lobbied for a law to get benefits reinstated for those whose second spouses died or who were divorced from military members who later died and helped secure improved medical and education benefits, said John Brennan, the group's only paid staff member.

Sixty years after its founding, the group has the same emblem, a gold star inside a purple circle crossed with a purple bar. And it has the same goals, Speer said: to honor those who died in the service of their country and assist those left behind, such as Tiffany Petty, 25, of Inkom, Idaho, who was widowed in December 2003 when her husband, Army Pfc. Jerrick M. Petty, was fatally shot while guarding a gas station in Iraq.

And Donna Gilmore, 44, of Stafford, whose husband, Command Sgt. Maj. Cornell W. Gilmore, was killed in November 2003 in a Black Hawk helicopter crash near Tikrit, Iraq.

"I really feel sorry for the young widows, the women who are 22, 23, 25 years old with young children," Gilmore said after the hearing. "I know how difficult it has been for me, and we were more established. I can only imagine how difficult things are for them, having to worry about their children."

Gilmore, who has two children in college, said she joined the group to empower herself after her husband was killed.

She said her family's income has dropped by 75 percent. She has had to go back to work, but because she interrupted her career for the frequent moves of the military, she doesn't qualify for higher-paying jobs.

The Gold Star Wives, who called and visited her in Stafford, have taught her what her rights are, she said. She plans to go back to school for a degree, a benefit that was given to widows after the group lobbied legislators several years ago.

"They are teaching me to stand up and be heard," Gilmore said. "After my husband died, I was so worried about doing anything that might taint his reputation, so I allowed [military officials] to say and do whatever they wanted to me, and I would go home and cry.

"The Gold Star Wives have taught me better.
They are tenacious when it comes to helping widows -- like pit bulls."

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